Ok.. so after my u/s on Tuesday I was over the moon with my 10 follicles.. then they called and upped my meds because my E2 was not high enough. I went in today and only have 11 follicles.. so only one more.
I have no idea when I go in for my next u/s. I have no idea if I will still trigger on Saturday. Everything is up in the air and I hate it. I am a planner by nature. Both our jobs need to know when we are not going to be there but I can't give them a definite either way. I am frustrated, sore and tired. Making a baby is supposed to be fun, not stressful, not painful, not something that involves meds and injections and sad tears.
I am so over this. For the last 7 years my body has failed me over and over again. First the kidney/UTI issue, then the Endo and PCOS diagnosis. Now, even when I am pumping it full of drugs it can't cooperate. I am sick and tired of all of it. I seriously am tired of feeling like I am constantly failing. I know Mike is upset because I am upset but sometimes I don't think he truly understands.
The only thing I have ever wanted is to be a mommy. No matter how many times I have wavered on everything else, being a mommy has always been a desire. I am 27.. no.. not old but not young either.
Come on body.. just do this for me.. please
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
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