Giving him a reason to fight..

If you are a follower of my blog you know the issues with my father as well as his bout with cancer. He called me a few months ago when he got out of the hospital and told me that he didn't know if the cancer was gone but if it wasn't he didn't have the energy or desire to fight. Basically he told me he was giving up.

I knew at that time that I was pregnant but it was still really early and I wasn't comfortable telling him. He didn't have a phone at that time so I had no way to contact him with the exception of snail mail. Our birthdays are this weekend. His is Saturday and mine is Sunday. I decided to tell him with his birthday card. I picked up a grandpa card and put a copy of the 8w u/s in the card explaining that I was pregnant and due May 31st. I told him that I hoped it would give him a reason to live.

Well, he called me today.. about 20 minutes ago to wish me a happy birthday. He got a new phone so he could call. He doesn't leave the house except to go to the doctor. Others get his groceries and he just sits around all day. He hadn't gotten the card yet so I told him the news. I told him that I hoped it would give him hope and a reason to fight. I told him that if he wanted to meet his grandchild that he needed to fight, get strong and be able. I wasn't being mean.. just honest. The man needs tough love and I am the only one left who can give it to him.

I told him that if he fought, did his part to re-gain muscle and get strong then when the child was a few months old we would try to find the funds to make a trip. This is very, very hard for me. I don't trust my father but I don't want my children to know that anger, fear and hate. They don't need to know what kind of man their grandfather could be.

So... he has a reason to fight, a reason to live. Maybe that is why I have been blessed with this miracle. I don't know.

Sorry.. this was longer than I thought it would be.