So I love babies, always have. I was always the most excited one when someone announced that they were expecting. Then I started having TTTC. Am I that happy friend anymore... nope I sulk. I avoid baby showers, I cry.
Some good friends of ours (he has been friends with DH since high school) had a baby girl on Friday. I am happy for them. They have two other children between them but this is the only one that is "theirs".
DH wanted to go meet her. I went even though a big part of mean really didn't want to go thru the emotion. I was actually quite proud of myself. I didn't cry while we were there. She was so sweet to hold and cuddle.
We left, went to dinner and had a baby names conversation. That put me over the edge. We got home and I went to bed early. I needed to cry a little and let the jealousy go. I truly need this IVF cycle to work and to stick. I really don't like the person that TTC has made me.
Breathe in, Breathe out and Move on.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
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