Scared for my sanity..

So as IVF looms in my future I have a ton of what-ifs running through my head. I try to keep most of them positive but I also feel the need to be realistic. I have past history of depression. I have been medicated for it. For the past 4 years I have been doing great without medical help.

Last night Mike and I were talking what-ifs and knowing my history he asked me how I would be if the IVF didn't work. I truly understand the question, it is very valid but at the time it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't have a solid answer for him other than, if it gets bad do what you need to.

After thinking about it and such I have decided that if it doesn't work out I will most likely go back into therapy. I think it is something that Mike and I will do together. I will have to have an outlet for the anger and frustration. I hope that I will be strong enough to get thru it without medication but I honestly don't know.

If IVF fails we are out of the game for awhile. Financially we can't afford to proceed out of pocket. The hunt for IF coverage will commence.