I am suffering from what seems like extreme anxiety. About a month ago I started on Wellbutrin because I mentioned to my doctor that both DH and I felt I wasn't myself. A few weeks in and I started to feel better but the last week has gone drastically downhill with last night topping things off.
What a CRAPPY night. Around 7:30pm I decided I just couldn't watch TV anymore. I have been feeling like this a lot lately. I feel like I have to do something but I have no idea what I want to do. Scratch that.. what I want to do is go buy everything that I registered for so I feel 100% prepared. Problem is I have been told to wait till after my shower which is 5 weeks away.
Anyway.. Mike kept asking what I wanted to do and I didn't have an answer to give him. I ended up getting up and clearing a cabinet so I had room for baby bottles.. wtf? After that 15 minute project it started all over again.
I started to talk to Mike about my fears about BF'ing especially since I have to go back after 2 weeks. He was trying to be supportive but never said the right thing and I ended up in tears. At this point it is almost 9pm and I just shut down. All of a sudden I got the urge to runaway. I got up, got dressed, grabbed my purse and keys and walked towards the door. Unfortunately my garage door is slow and I was caught. I balled in the car for 10 minutes and told Mike I needed to drive. He went with me and I drove out into the middle of nowhere and back. I started to feel better and about an hour later we got back home.
He was great and cuddled with me but he fell asleep. Every time I closed my eyes I had feelings of impending doom and needless to say sleep wasn't going to happen. I got up walked to the nursery and sat in the recliner. This usually makes me feel better. Instead it brought on another crying fit. It was so loud that Mike heard it from across the house. I had woken him up. He came in and was wonderful! He promised he would stay up with me if I went back to bed.
He held me for awhile while I watched TV and I finally told him he could go to bed. I watched TV till 1:30am and finally passed out thanks to the help of a Tylenol PM.
Needless to say I think I am losing my mind. This is no longer me just in a funk. Something is wrong. Maybe I am having an adverse reaction to the Wellbutrin and I will ask at my appt on Thursday. The way I am feeling scares me. I really don't like it at all but I don't know how to fix it.
Anyway.. as if my night couldn't get any worse I woke up at 3:30am with horrible abdominal pains.. again. I dealt with them off and on all night and needless to say I am exhausted today. ::sigh::
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
3 comments:
Oh I am so sorry for you, I have had horrible anxiety for years and it is awful. Did you know that wellbutrin often makes anxiety worse, as it is NOT a medicine for anxiety. Maybe that is something to look up and mention to your doctor. I hope you find something to help. Good Luck
Oh honey take care of yourself! Talk to your doctor. Don't assume this is normal. I am so glad Mike was with you and you were not by yourself!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I want you to know you are not alone. I had anxiety throughout my pregnancy but didn't really talk about it or do anything. I think it's important you talk to your doctor. I hope you can be back to yourself soon.
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