It is pretty much over...

So after the spotting started on Friday I had my doubts. I had this gut feeling that we were done. Last night the spotting became a light flow, no longer just brown. I immediately knew it was over. I wasn't sad right away. Just angry, very, very angry. Mike and I screamed and cried together. I decided last night that I had to know and so I tested this morning with FMU. Bright, White, Glaring BFN. I am not pregnant. I will not be having a January baby.

I am angry, sad, frustrated and I feel like I have failed myself, my husband and our parents. How am I supposed to tell the people that I love most in my life that I failed. Does anyone want to help me out?

I still have to go in Tuesday morning for my beta.. then back for a second as it is a study requirement. I'm over all of it. We don't have the funds or the insurance to try again. We are dead in the water. I feel lost.